Child sexual abuse awareness and prevention

Each state defines child sexual abuse differently, but it is generally referred to as a form of abuse that involves sexual misconduct, whether it be pressuring, coercing, forcing, or manipulating a child to engage in (or become exposed to) sexual acts, and/or the sexual exploitation of children, including child sexual abuse material, i.e., child pornography.

Many children wait to report or never report child sexual abuse at all, which makes it difficult to fully capture the prevalence of child sexual abuse in our society. However, research estimates the following:

• One in four girls and one in 13 boys will be sexually abused before they turn 18 (Source: Center for Disease Control and Prevention)
• 91% of sexual abuse is perpetrated by someone known and trusted by the child or the child’s family members (Source: Center for Disease Control and Prevention)
• Almost 65,000 children are sexually abused in the U.S. each year (Source: Prevent Child Abuse, North Carolina chapter)
• Approximately one third of sexual abuse is committed by minors, often by a child who is older or in a position of authority (Source: National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children)
• Individuals with disabilities experience abuse at more than twice the rate of those without a disability (Source: 2009 Report Bureau of Justice Statistics Special Report on Crime Against People with Disabilities)

While we often think of abusers as strangers, abuse is most often perpetrated by people in our lives that our families know and trust, as well as by a child’s peers. That’s why it is important we understand what behavior is appropriate and empower young people to assert their boundaries and talk to us about anything that makes them uncomfortable.

Grooming is a process where an offender will slowly and carefully develop a relationship with a child (and in many cases, the child’s family and/or other adults in their life), gradually gaining trust while often at the same time initiating more inappropriate, intimate contact.

Grooming can be difficult to recognize because it can sometimes look like normal, caring behavior. But because it may not be, it’s helpful to look for patterns of certain behaviors and to intervene early – even if you think what you’re seeing may be trivial.

Some grooming behaviors may include:

• Giving the child (or their family) special attention and/or gifts, making them feel special or indebted to the adult
• Bending the rules for one child
• Isolating the child from others, including their friends or family
• Creating opportunities (often insisting) to get the child alone (offering to take the child home, taking them on outings, etc.)
• Physical touch and gradual crossing of boundaries
• Exposing a child to inappropriate conduct or materials
• Using secrecy, blame or threats to maintain control

• Shame, guilt, embarrassment
• Fear of letting down someone they care about
• Fear of negative consequences or retaliation
• Afraid of not being believed, or fear they are responsible for the abuse
• Fear of getting someone they, or their family, care(s) about in trouble

Signs that a child is being sexually abused are not always obvious, and there may be many reasons for a child’s change in behavior. But if you notice a combination of concerning signs, don’t be afraid to seek help or advice. Examples include:

• Sudden change in social behavior (e.g., spending less time with friends or family, reluctance to spend time with a certain person, no longer wanting to participate in something they enjoyed, etc.)
  • Changes in eating behaviors.
  • Withdrawal, delinquency, or aggression (sometimes overlooked as “typical teenage behavior”).
  • Depression, anxiety.
  • Recurring stomach aches, headaches, etc.

If you suspect a child may be experiencing abuse, you should consider taking the following actions:

• Report immediately – immediately or as soon as is practically possible report any concerns, whether it’s potential grooming behavior or suspected child abuse, to the appropriate authorities who can help determine next steps. For information about USC’s reporting protocols and how to report concerns, refer to the Office of Youth Protection and Programming’s Reporting page.
• Make open communication your priority – encourage your child to come to you whenever they feel uncomfortable, or when someone has crossed a boundary.
• Remain calm – if any child confides in you that they’ve been abused or harmed, staying calm is important, as your initial reaction can have a significant impact on what happens next. For example, you don’t want them to feel as though they shouldn’t have said something, or that they shouldn’t share more. Also, in some cases, remember that the person who harmed them may be someone they care about.
• Use broad, open-ended questions – doing so will allow them the space to share their concerns with you. Avoid “why” questions, which tend to imply blame and guilt on someone’s part.
• Be supportive – reiterate that that they did the right thing by telling you about their concerns, and that their safety is your priority.

Clear, open, and supportive communication is the cornerstone of effective prevention. Statistics show that having informative, age-appropriate conversations about boundaries and body safety can help protect children from experiencing abuse. However, it can be difficult to know what to say, or to know when it’s an appropriate time to have these conversations. The following organizations have compiled helpful information to equip you for these important conversations:

• Zero Abuse Project Keep Kids Safe concepts – provides concepts and information that can help teach children and teens about personal safety 
• Committee for Children Conversation Guide – a how-to guide for talking to children and empowering them to report and speak up against abuse 
• U.S. Center for SafeSport online toolkits and courses – resources for parents and children to help them understand SafeSport best practices, policies, and how to respond to signs of abuse
• Stop It Now! – specific resources for parents of children with disabilities 
• Darkness to Light Talking with Children Training – training on talking with children about how to ensure safety and prevent sexual abuse 
• National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) NetSmartz online safety program – NetSmartz is NCMEC’s online safety education program. It provides age-appropriate videos and activities to help teach children be safer online with the goal of helping children to become more aware of potential online risks and empowering them to help prevent victimization by making safer choices on- and offline.